Explanations and Strangulations
by Koolaid58
Summary: My name is Bridget von Hammersmark, goddess of the Deutche Leinwand, and I am about to die.


**Author's Note: The characters and setting all belong to Quentin Tarantino.**

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There has never been a more clear or sobering fact than the realization of one's impending death. It's strange how such a chaotic thing can order the mind in an instant focusing an individuals entire being on one over arching goal; the desire to live. My name is Bridget von Hammersmark, goddess of the Deutche Leinwand, and I am about to die. While I'm not thrilled about this fact, I cannot say it is all that unexpected of a fate. I knew the risks that becoming a spy entailed and I long ago excepted that the odds pointed to a messy end for me, but after all a war is on and that is the conclusion most everyone can look froward to these days. No, I would have to say my only regret about my untimely demise is that it is to be at the hands of the nefarious and repugnant SS Standartenführer Hans Landa.

I really should have called the whole thing off after the Scheiße Sturm at the tavern and I would have if our target had been anyone other than the _Führer_ himself, there was just to much at stake and I suppose what's done is done. The evening had started well enough and despite Lieutenant Aldo Raine's abysmal Italian I was hopeful of our success, although the levity of my spirits might have been largely attributed to the substantial amount of morphine I'd been administered. I was being my devastatingly charming self as usual and everyone seemed quite willing to over look the oddities of my guests, after all they were posing as Italians. A decent plan encompassing months of logistical effort gone down the drain as soon as he walked down those stairs, his damned-able posture, pomp and circumstance. The years between our last encounter had served only to increase his sickening charm and infuriating smugness.

As we made our reintroductions and even with my head swimming from the narcotics I could remember clearly all those years ago in Berlin. I was on tour for my second film _Der stolze und die gefallenen_ and due to a blossoming social connection to Joseph Goebbels I was in the thick of the Third Reich's operation center. With an over abundance of handsome officers ready to impress a famous actress, a modicum of flirting and flattery gave me access a plethora of information. At the time I was not yet associated with British intelligence but was working freelance in a manner, I was in contact with an underground resistance that was working to undermined the Nazi government. The main objective of the rebel group was to assist in the escape of any remaining Jews in Berlin and I was tasked with discovering what the SS knew and uncovering any weaknesses that could be exploited to facilatate escape plans.

Colonel Landa was a rising star in the SS at the time due to his uncanny detective skills. We met at one of the many parties held to celebrate the superiority of Deutschland under the Third Reich. Landa had been the very picture of a German officer and we spent the better part of the evening dancing together. By the end of that night I believe the Colonel was rather smitten with me but who can know for sure. We began an association after that and because of it I had access to vital information which enabled the escape of a large cache of Jews right out from under Landa's pompously upturned nose. I will spare you the sorted details of the affair suffice to say that Landa was disgraced and sent back to his home in Austria while I continued my work. Now we've come full circle and I'm on the floor of some dusty cinema office with this weasel's hands around my neck chocking the life out of me. It appears operation Kino will fail and the only conciliation I will have is knowing that Colonel Landa has final realized I was the one who bested him all those years ago in Berlin. I think I can find enough satisfaction in that.

Auf Wiedersehen meine Lieblinge,

Bridget von Hammersmark

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 **After watching Inglourious Basterds I found the suddenness of Von Hammersmark's assault by Landa to be out of character in a way. Not to say he was in any way a decent person, far from it, but until that point in the film he'd been cold and calculating in his actions and the sudden violent attack seemed to be out of place. I've read theories that the scene was a way to remind the audience that Landa is the bad guy, even despite being a Nazi responsible for countless murders he is rather charming and likable in a deranged way throughout the film. While it's very possible that this is the reason for the scene as well as the fact that it takes the audience by surprise and prepares them for more violence to come I've always felt that there was something more personal to encounter and this little anecdote is my take on scene.**


End file.
